Unbridled Cynicism

less bullshit, more often?

On being kinda hopeless sometimes

So I haven’t been posting since I got back, I’ve been more occupied by things than I expected to be. Oh well.

Last weekend a friend and I were meant to drive to Kingsford from my place. It’s about a 15-20min drive, not terribly far, but we were running a tiny bit late for a 10am appointment.

We got in her car, turned the key, and were greeted by a weak chugging, whirring sound, followed by a ratcheting crunch. Of course we tried again - it was just like in the movies when even though they know exactly what’s happened, they tap the fuel gauge in a vain attempt to convince the cold heart of reality that she might be wrong.

She never is.

It’s kinda weird being an introvert sometimes. I knew what had to be done, and I felt my heart beat more heavily. This should be no big deal, I just have to knock on a few doors and ask if they can help us jump-start the car. The street’s full of cars, it’s not like it can’t be done. The logical part of my mind is raving non-stop about how this is a non-issue for so many reasons, and the rest of me is telling it to shut up.

I’ve lived in Glebe for about six years now, it’s a fantastic place. Truth is, up until now I knew exactly none of my neighbours. There’s the odd person moving in, community barbeques, stuff like that, but I can’t bring myself to get involved. There’s nothing wrong with them, there’s just a big mental barrier for me to deal with, so I don’t because it’s the easy option.

In this case I knew I was being assessed and relied upon by someone else. Relax, this should be easy… And really it was. I tried the place two doors down, the bloke there suggested another guy by name who owns a Land Rover. Both warm and friendly and easy to talk to. With the car started, we were on our way and arrived only half an hour late.

Uplifting is the way I think I’d describe it, just a little bit. It felt like I’d done something really right, even though it was only for myself. For anyone else that I know, that would’ve been a completely ordinary situation, but I feel a bit more confident about dealing with new people now. I’ll take that and do my best with it.